I can totally relate! After MANY years of Feldenkrais, some part of me still feels it's wrong to feel asymmetrical. Also, when i ride my horse i have a cacophony of voices in my head, of different coaches i've had over the year, all "criticizing". (Including, as i scan, one that's telling me all the things wrong with how i'm sitting! ) Mostly i "know" to be in the moment, and ride the flow of each little wiggle of my partnership with my horse, but those voices, with all their "shoulds" are very insistent.
I can definitely relate to this! Even though I 'knew' better, consciously having changed some beliefs over time about posture and movement, I still followed some pretty rigid rules about posture and movement (without being aware that I was doing so). I didn't realize it until it was pointed out to me by a trusted guide. I thought I had unlearned the things I once believed about posture and form, but it didn't translate to how I moved in my body in the world. It was a fascinating discovery at the time!
Recently, a friend made ma realize that I was very demanding with my body if it did not perform as I was expecting. I thought that with everything I was doing, meditations, breathing, mobility exercises...I should have no pain. So when my body was hurting, I had a voice inside telling me that I had a problem, that my body did not function normally. That idea made me feel worse over time as I was reaching for a body free of any pains or tensions. Today, I might still have those thoughts but consciously I am softer and have more compassion towards my body sensations. I had a training on mindfulness which really made me love myself more without judgment, whatever my body is trying to tell me. It is an ongoing learning experience to feel better in mind & body regardless of what is going on. :-)
I can totally relate! After MANY years of Feldenkrais, some part of me still feels it's wrong to feel asymmetrical. Also, when i ride my horse i have a cacophony of voices in my head, of different coaches i've had over the year, all "criticizing". (Including, as i scan, one that's telling me all the things wrong with how i'm sitting! ) Mostly i "know" to be in the moment, and ride the flow of each little wiggle of my partnership with my horse, but those voices, with all their "shoulds" are very insistent.
I can definitely relate to this! Even though I 'knew' better, consciously having changed some beliefs over time about posture and movement, I still followed some pretty rigid rules about posture and movement (without being aware that I was doing so). I didn't realize it until it was pointed out to me by a trusted guide. I thought I had unlearned the things I once believed about posture and form, but it didn't translate to how I moved in my body in the world. It was a fascinating discovery at the time!
Recently, a friend made ma realize that I was very demanding with my body if it did not perform as I was expecting. I thought that with everything I was doing, meditations, breathing, mobility exercises...I should have no pain. So when my body was hurting, I had a voice inside telling me that I had a problem, that my body did not function normally. That idea made me feel worse over time as I was reaching for a body free of any pains or tensions. Today, I might still have those thoughts but consciously I am softer and have more compassion towards my body sensations. I had a training on mindfulness which really made me love myself more without judgment, whatever my body is trying to tell me. It is an ongoing learning experience to feel better in mind & body regardless of what is going on. :-)
Fascinating, and right on. You are obviously a weirdo - like me! Thanks Todd.